I’m not sure what to say at this point, thought that never seems to stop me.  I can start by saying “Thank you.”  Thank You God for a day of being carried along and cared for and provided for much like I was 10 years ago.  Ten years passed yesterday since my dear little sister and friend slipped into Heaven so suddenly.  (It’s nothing to be poetic about, I just feel like using the word “died” is so limited.) Thank you to the friends who were with me and apart yesterday praying for me.   I felt the grace of your prayers.

The yearly anniversary is indeed a day of an array of emotions.   Memories are always good.  Even the less good memories are good because Noël is at least present in them.  As some of you know and have shared in the anniversaries with me, I like to commemorate this day with some sort of performance.  Noël being a dancer and performer and all, it just seems appropriate.  And somehow it is good to commemorate this day with something joyous.  It is a day of celebrating the life I got share in with Noël as well as a day of acknowledging how much I miss her and how sweetly irreplaceable she is.  My parents were blessed to go a dance performance put on by one of Noël’s closest dance buddies who now teaches and directs a dance company.  What a gift and grace to get to do this in remembrance of her.  I was given a free passes to Disneyland by a dear friend and spent the rain drenched day there with she and two lovely fellas.  I felt carried along through the day in the best of ways.  

I so look forward to seeing her again some day.  Yes, I do believe in a resurrection and reuniting though I am quite at loss on how that plays out or what it will be like. I look forward to dancing with that kid again and cracking each other up with ridiculousness.  

And just as a note to my friends who are going through their first and second Christmases after loss, I still feel God providing and caring for me in my mourning even now.  Not that it’s not tough, but I’m not alone in it or without comfort.  

Christmas is celebrated not because all is hunk dory and dandy, but because God sent Light into the midst of darkness and that Light is still overcoming and penetrating the darkness today!  Hooray!  Hallelujah chorus and all!

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